Despite being spooky season, it is not an excuse for ghosts from the past to attempt to return to our life. If you were hanging out with Casper or not, that isn’t my problem. Still, you do not get to reappear and act like everything is fine. This is real life, not Super Mario World.
Given, the modern world of dating is a game yet, try to be a little less apparent about it. Amusing and infuriating at the same time how some try to come back into your life pretending like nothing happened- wanting to pick up where things were left off. Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that!
Eventually, people realize being someone’s second or third choice is not only deprecating but also self-damaging. Having them reappearing when they have nobody else on the roster or for selfish reasons is frustrating. Returning ghosters often believe a simple greeting will be the answer expecting everything to go back to normal to the way it once was.
Let me put this in simple terms: if he/she cannot give you an explanation as to why they stop communicating with you, then their intentions are insincere. It can also mean there was nobody else available, making you the next best choice. Not the first, but the second next best choice. Clearly, you do not want that, do you?
With time and age, you start to learn it’s not worth it restarting things. If they disappear once, there’s no guarantee it wouldn’t happen again. They only return due to boredom and as a way to pass the time until they come across something better. Imploring you to listen to the cause behind their actions can indicate how committed they are to regaining your trust. It is up to you to determine the level of honesty and realness. Everyone can say many things and not mean it.
Past experiences have provided hard-to-learn lessons of what it means when someone wants to return to your life. Going days, weeks, and even months without speaking to you meant nothing to them. Then the questions become; what changed? Did boredom make you reach out? Or Are you looking for entertainment? If you are, go and buy yourself a tv or a video game.
It might be mean, but someone had to say it.
Having said it previously, nothing wrong with changing your mind and no longer wanting what that individual has to give. What is not okay is not having the pants to be upfront and to disappear for later to reemerge. I do not care if you are Brad Pitt or the last man on earth, but you lost the privilege to be in my life when you left. Don’t forget how bad you were hurting after his/her departure (depending on how serious the relationship was), but leaving you to pick up the pieces- pieces that will never be whole again.
The ghost would want to win you back after acknowledging the incredible and irreplaceable treasure they lost. If that is the case and have demonstrated with their actions, not just with words, they are indeed regretful for abandoning you. Then go and give them another opportunity. Only do it because you want to without feeling obligated to do so. You don’t own them anything as they were the ones who left, forcing you to continue without them. If they no longer fit in your life, so bit it, as they had their chance and lost it.