If I had to guess, I would say a good portion of you guys have tried online dating at least once. We are fully aware of how frustrating it can be.
Swiping left and right can be pretty tiresome for anyone, increasingly more when you have a disability.
One can say the equivalent to dating is walking in an endless hallway with numberless doors aligned on each side. The doors you will encounter will lead to nowhere while others might.
Next, you decided to try your luck by opening a few doors to see where they will lead just for the sake of it. Before long, you realize the majority of them are dead-ends. Finding yourself back in the hallway contemplating which door to try next, anxiously hoping this is the one. It can be a never-ending cycle that keeps repeating itself. Am I right?
Now imagine being unable to go through for the simple fact you have a disability. Dating as a differently-able person is ten times more difficult due to all the prejudgement surrounding the word disability. One can argue that online dating is pretty exclusive as some would not swipe left because you have identified your disability on the profile.
Five simple and helpful tips I have learned throughout the years for online dating with a disability:
1: Don’t identify your disability in the dating profile bio-
Personally, I prefer not to state my disability on my dating profile. Thousands of people use dating apps daily in addition to the weirdos with crazy disabled fetishes. Plus, not everyone on the app needs to be aware of your impairment. It is your disability, and you have the right to divulge it to whoever, however, and whenever you want.
2: Disclose your disability to the match a few days after connecting and/or if you feel like things could go somewhere-
Inform the individual about your disability 2-3 days after starting talking or upon meeting up. If they ghost you once you tell them, then they weren’t meant to be in your life. Rejection is awful any way you put it, but sometimes it’s necessary for self-growth. The issue is that humanity has made disability a taboo topic bringing uncertainty to the idea of dating someone with a disability before giving it a chance. Of course, it might suck at first though you will become stronger in the end.
3: Don’t go too deep into discussing your entire medical history also encourage them to ask followup questions.-
Revealing your disability can be a scary thing as you don’t know how the person will react. I would appreciate it if they ask questions when finding out that I have a disability, instead of turning to the internet for answers. The problem is the internet makes it sound worse than it really is. More often than not, I use the following statement to I inform them:
“There is something I want to tell you… I have a disability, which affects my speech and some motor skills. I can answer any questions you might have. Let me know if you want us to continue being an acquaintance, if not I wish you the best.”
That is a simple way of unveiling your disability without going too much into detail to avoid awkwardness during the first few minutes.
4: There is a high probability of being ghosted following the declaration of your disability-
I find it extremely annoying when the individual says that you, having a disability doesn’t matter, yet they end up disappearing soon afterward. They go from texting all day long to not texting at all. Why not be upfront about no longer being interested?! The issue is many take the easy way out instead of being direct and honest supposedly to avoid hurting you. It just shows their level of immaturity and unwillingness to understand what is foreign.
5: You are amazing! Know they are the one with the problem because having a disability doesn’t make you less of a person-
If the person is unwilling to overlook your limitations and value your great qualities, then they aren’t worth your time and energy. Having a disability shouldn’t matter when their interest is genuine willing to do whatever in their power to make it work. Actually, they are doing you a favor as you would be closer in finding someone special who is going to accept/loves you for who you are. Meanwhile, say like Ariana Grande; “Thank U, Next”.
Hope you found these tips useful and implement some of them to your dating life. I would love to know your thoughts and if you agree with me or not by commenting below.