Care to admit it or not… We all have been ghosted and done the ghosting at least once. It is okay to admit it.
Personally, I think ghosting suck! Has it stopped me from executing the act, occasionally? No.
The deed has turned into such a regular practice among the dating community that it has become not foreign. Eventually, what was once abnormal has become normal, hence the ghosting culture.
A ghost doesn’t do ghosting as regularly as an insecure dater who is alway looking for the best next thing. Some dissipates for the simple fact of being a coward while others do it out of boredom. It’s easier to disappear than to be upfront, simple as that.
How to deal with being ghosted?
During our dating expedition, we have engaged in ghosting due to a lack of interest or a stale conversation. There is nothing you can do if the dialogue has grown jaded but to move on. Continue trying to harvest a connection knowing full well it will only lead to a dead-end is a waste of time.
But going awol without any valid reason is cowardly, especially if the connection had been there from the beginning and only had gotten stronger by the day. Nothing wrong with altering your feelings and no longer wanting to pursue things further, at the very least, have the gut to be upfront and honest. It is the bare minimum you could do to compensate for wasting their precious time. Do it, not for yourself but for the individual to help bring answers to many unanswered questions. After receiving the needed closure, they would be able to turn the page and move one.
Communicating to the person, you see the relationship going nowhere and are no longer interested can be terrifying. It might be scary at first, but in the long-term, you’ll be glad you did. To be led on and then abandoned with broken illusions and empty promises is emotionally debilitative. That said, try to be sensitive when expressing your desire to end things just don’t discuss it abruptly, preferably casually ease into it. A good way starting point is stating what you learned from the conversations had, following with why you don’t see the relationship progressing any longer.
It might sting at first, but they will be appreciative of it in the end, and at times everything would be left on good terms.
Conversely, a coward will stop responding because honesty scare the heck out of them. Often, a ghoster believe that being honest would end up damaging their toughness making them appear weak. Disappearing without any trace is the easiest way to avoid any uncomfortable situation without having to face no confrontations and not needing to give no explanation. It only shows how selfish and inconsiderate they are. These people do not hold any remorse towards playing the other person’s emotional state of mind not caring about the pain they have caused.
When that occurs, the only thing left to do is to let time pass and to come to terms with the fact that you had nothing to do with their selfish actions, which is a reflection of their own insecurities. Unfortunately, sending a text demanding an answer will not null the pain they have inflicted. How can they explain anything if they do not dare to hold a truthful conversation with you? It is best to let it go and accept what it is. Always move on with dignity!
Get ingrained into your mind that ghosting happens to everyone, not just you. The key here is not to get too involved in the talking stage and to let things flow freely. Don’t ever think by changing yourself, you will make them not disappear because that is further from the truth.
Anyone who wants to stay will stay and anyone who wants to leave will leave, regardless. Remember that!
I have been ghosted quite a few times. I’ve been ghosted by people that I Loved. I have been ghosted by people who (once) said they Loved Me.
I’ve been put into positions where I was confused and didn’t know what was going on and was forced to humiliate myself just so I could figure it out.
Another time, someone who I Trusted and I Cared deeply about, I suppose they just changed their Mind about Me (without telling Me) and Just did not want to deal with Me anymore. When someone who has gained Your Trust does something like this, it’s a betrayal. It Hurts, and it really fucked Me up. I am still Hurt from this, and it has been years. And I don’t even know why. She said a bunch of stuff that made no sense to Me, then blocked Me instead of talking with Me. No Closure. No Civility. No Respect. No Care.
If You just met someone at a bar and find out their Pro-Life or otherwise misogynist then sure, ghost away. They don’t Need or deserve an explanation.
But don’t ghost people that Love You. That Trust You. That Care about You.
That’s Not Right.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Unfortunately, ghosting comes with many negative feeling, resentment and trust issues but we have to take everything as a life lesson. A lesson that help us see the reality of life not just snippers of what we think how it is suppose to be.