Do it once, do it again!
How many chances are you willing to give until you realize that enough is enough?
At times, we hold tightly to the hope that they would change. Only to realize we unintentionally have heightened their ego. Giving chances, after chances, will only conclude in self-betrayal, gradually diminishing your self-worth.
Why should they respect you if you keep disrespecting yourself?
Our duty as individuals is to give ourselves the love and affection we want to receive before searching for it externally. It sounds simple, but it is not.
Meanwhile, if an individual doesn’t know how to love himself/herself above everything else. Then the individual becomes reliant on the partner and too blinded to identify what a true, honest, and selfless love is- only to be settling for a mediocre type of love. Consequently, the relationship turned to be one-sided. The dependent person willingly and freely forgives the partner for every discourtesy done, merely to prevent them from leaving. As a result, manipulation and toxicity form the foundation of the relationship instead of love and trust.
Unknowingly, you could mistake unrighteous behavior with fondness. Due to your inability to see how deserving you are of receiving unconditional love. Having a distorted version of what a romantic relationship should be like is a magnet for manipulators. Nothing you do is right! Often making you think you are the one with the problem when it is the other way around.
These people feed their egos with gaslighting.
The issue is a narcissist would take and take until you have nothing else to give. You would always be not appreciated and mistreated without you even knowing. Therefore, focusing so much on them can result in you neglecting yourself. Staying, hoping they will be different, is a recipe for stress. They will continue with their egoistic behavior, regardless.
Of course, not every relationship is mold the same. Individuals choose to manage their relationship as they please. However, never be so willing to give everything you have if you are not receiving the same. Erase from your mind the idea you would be nobody by not being in a relationship.
Come to think, how we are so quick to forgive a partner for wrongdoing, yet we beat ourselves up for doing barely enough. Why is that, you might ask? It could have originated from the need of desperately wanting to seek a partner to help fulfill and comfort our dearest insecurities. We are the only ones with the power to find the love, acceptance, and the fulfillment necessary to build the bridge that would take us to a better and greater self.
Many, look outside to replenish the void of unlovable thoughts/beliefs, unaware that the glass can never fill up if there is a leak. Not until you examine the glass and patch the leak is when you would be able to fill the glass without constantly having to refill it.
Don’t deny yourself the reality that is in front of your eyes. You wouldn’t have to ask them to change if they honestly care about you and your well-being. They would automatically alter their ways, knowing their behavior hurts you and not to lose you. They should want to change for themselves, not because you asked them to. That said, never belittle yourself only to have someone love you!
I agree we might have false hope about them while it’s impossible to change them.
They need to want to change for themselves and if they change only because you told him/her to they could resent you in the end.
This is really great advice, you should never change yourself to make somebody else happy. You are you and people should accept you that way or not at all.
Have a great week.
Exactly!!! If people can’t accept you for who you are that is their problem not yours. Happy weekend!!