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Rejection Stinks, Yet It is Needed: Identifying the Power of Rejection

Why is rejection necessary?

Rejection is inevitable, no matter how hard we try to evade it. It’s like encountering a stubborn vending machine that simply refuses to accept your dollar bill. You start to feel a surge of frustration and even anger because all your efforts to quench your thirst seem to go to waste.

Feeling defeated and disheartened, you walk away, unaware that a superior machine awaits you just a little further down. This new machine is more advanced and will gladly accepts your dollar bill, eliminating the need for any bending or twisting on your part. Not only does it eagerly take your money, but it also offers you a wider range of options.  In contrast, if the initial machine had accepted your money, you would have ended up with a dull drink, leaving you unsatisfied.

No matter how you slice it, rejection really sucks, although it’s a necessary part of life. Ugh, can you believe that nonsense? But hold on, hear me out!

Typically, we tend to view rejection in a negative light, but is it really all that bad? Initially, it’s a catalyst for pushing us out of our comfort zones and into uncharted territory. Also, it may feel like the end of the world, but it’s quite the opposite. It presents an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself and embark on a fresh new chapter of your life.

Sometimes, we get so fixated on finding that perfect partner that we lose sight of our own individuality. It becomes an uphill battle to go above and beyond for someone who fails to appreciate the effort you invest in the relationship and your authentic self.

Overcommitting is a recipe for disaster as you will end up neglecting your wants and needs.

For any relationship to thrive, it requires a balanced effort from both individuals involved. It can’t be a situation where one person gives 70% while the other only gives 30%. When such an imbalance occurs, the relationship becomes the sole identity of the person who invests more. When it eventually comes to an end, they find themselves disoriented, unable to distinguish between North and South.

Recognize that you cannot remain in an obscure bubble forever; make the decision to move on by stepping out of your comfort zone. It might seem impossible at first, but it will improve day by day. In a Stanford research, Clifton B. Parker explains in the article how the psychologists found “people who believe in their ability to grow and develop, while of course hurt by rejections, can more readily bounce back and envision a brighter future” (Parker). Gradually, your confidence will grow, reawakening that adventurous side you once forgot.

With the newly gained confidence, you will begin to recognize your immense value and learn how not to compromise your standards again, refusing to settle for less.

The realization hits like a splash of cold water when you realize that you gave and gave, yet received nothing in return. It is a mistake that teaches an unforgettable lesson lasting a lifetime. Once you discover your self-worth, you will no longer give 70%; instead, you will give 50%, and anyone unwilling to contribute the other half will not be welcome.

Eventually, you will look back and reflect on what you had to go through to improve yourself and reach where you are now. Thanks to the challenges you faced, you are stronger than before. Along the journey, you will encounter the right person who will be willing to give you what you truly deserve and much more. Until then, be aware that rejections are temporary, and without them, you would not have discovered your true self.


Parker, C. B. (2018, June 8). Stanford research explains why some people have more difficulty recovering from romantic breakups. Stanford News. https://news.stanford.edu/2016/01/07/self-definition-breakups-010716/

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    • shesdioma
      January 19, 2021 / 11:18 am

      Thanks! 🙂

  1. March 3, 2021 / 4:50 pm

    Love this! Rejection hurts, but when we can learn from it, and view it as an opportunity, that’s when real growth can happen!

    • shesdioma
      March 4, 2021 / 11:27 am

      Thanks! exactly… sometimes the biggest growth come from hurtful experiences

  2. June 22, 2023 / 6:32 pm

    I’m so glad I don’t have to use dating apps to meet people, because that level of rejection is soul destroying. I can’t handle it at the best of times

    • shesdioma
      June 23, 2023 / 1:15 pm

      It can be very soul-destroying as well as a blessing. At times, rejection redirects us to the path we are meant to be on.

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