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Why I Do Not Regret Not Disclosing My Disability?

Not Disclosing My Disability And Having No Regrets

Regret is a profound emotion that accompanies our actions or lack thereof. It can manifest as either disappointment or contentment, depending on whether our choices lead to the desired outcome.

When it comes to dating, regret becomes an inevitable part of our journey. For instance, sending a text to an ex, knowing it’s detrimental to our well-being, can stir up feelings of remorse. While we may wish we had refrained from pressing that send button, we don’t regret meeting them. Instead, it becomes a catalyst for recognizing our self-worth and realizing that we deserve more fulfilling connections.

The Complexity of Regret

The concept of regret is complex, offering valuable lessons that shape our personal growth. These lessons are crucial for our evolution and the fruition of our true potential. When things don’t go as planned, we may yearn for a different outcome. But where would our growth be if everything always went in our favor? There would be no growth at all.

Click Here To Read: Should You Include Your Disability in Your Dating Profile?

It is through moments of adversity that we experience genuine growth. If life always unfolded exactly as we wished, there would be no room for improvement. Unexpected outcomes, therefore, serve as blessings in disguise, forcing us to seek alternative paths that challenge us and propel us beyond our comfort zones.

The Decision Not to Disclose My Disability

Our past decisions have played a significant role in shaping the individuals we are today, so dwelling on regret should be the least of our concerns. Speaking specifically about dating, do I regret not disclosing my disability from the start? Honestly, the answer is no. Through this journey, I have encountered remarkable men who have had a profound impact on my self-discovery. Some may have exhibited negative behavior or lacked of understanding, but without these interactions, I may not have truly recognized my worth or acknowledge the extraordinary person I have become.

Reflecting on my dating history, it is intriguing to observe how uncomfortable I once was with myself and how I avoided opening up about my disability. The root of this issue lies in my constant pursuit of external acceptance, as I had not fully accepted myself. This relentless quest for validation hindered me from appreciating my true worth and led me to settle for anything that came my way, believing it would be enough. But the reality is, it wasn’t. Furthermore, being in my twenties further complicated matters.

Concealing my Disability was a Coping Mechanism

It was a delicate dance of concealing my disability, driven by a longing to fit in. This resulted in me hiding my disability when I first ventured into the realm of dating apps. Some may view this as a mistake or dishonesty, but I choose to see it differently. It was a way of masking my identity to conform to societal expectations, reminiscent of Amanda’s disguise in the movie “She’s the Man.” 

Let’s face it, many individuals shy away when faced with anything that resembles a disability. Unfortunately, that’s the society we live in. Had I openly disclosed my disability from the beginning on my dating profile, I might not have had the opportunity to embrace the transformative experiences I’ve had.

Not Disclosing My Disability And Having No Regret

Regretting the things you have done is better than regretting the things you didn’t do. Past dating experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. The transformation may not have occurred if I had disclosed my disability from the very beginning. Some may perceive this choice as wrong, but at the time, it felt like the proper thing to do.

It was right because it enabled me to learn valuable lessons about myself that I wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. Our choices are occasionally driven not by malice, but by a need to safeguard ourselves from our own insecurities. And it is these insecurities, which we protect at all costs, that ultimately make us extraordinary when we confront and overcome them.

In conclusion, I have no regrets about not disclosing my disability.

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  1. June 11, 2023 / 12:41 pm

    Regret can be quite uncomfortable, but I usually look at it as it’s pointing me in a direction I need to go; personal growth in any situation will always find us one way or another. Thank you for sharing your experiences navigating all this. Fab post!

    • shesdioma
      June 12, 2023 / 5:32 pm

      Exactly!!! Sometimes the only way to growth is by being uncomfortable or otherwise we wouldn’t have the courage to explore out of our comfort-zone.

  2. Charli Dee
    June 11, 2023 / 6:08 pm

    I’m a person with a disability myself and this is definitely a delicate topic. I remember one time while I was in college, a classmate shared her disability with me because she wanted to ask a question. She was whispering, but I wasn’t paying attention to that and responded to her question loudly revealing her as a person with a disability. I’m pretty open with my disability and wasn’t being considerate to the fact that many people are not like me and don’t wish to disclose. I felt very bad once I got a chance to really think about it, and I honestly still feel bad.

    • shesdioma
      June 12, 2023 / 5:46 pm

      Every disability is different and how people deal/manage with their disabilities. You were unaware of how she felt about her disability. It was a innocent mistake that we all have made. Thanks for sharing this with us!

  3. Lauren - Bournemouthgirl
    July 2, 2023 / 8:11 pm

    I have a disability. I don’t necessarily disclose my disability but if I go to do something I do disclose it for health and safety reasons. But I can see the benefits and cons of disclosing a disability. Thanks for sharing.


    • shesdioma
      July 4, 2023 / 12:52 pm

      It is all has to do with our level of comfort we have with sharing our disabilities. We always have to stay true to ourselves and feelings. Thanks for commenting!

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