Obtaining closure is not as easy as closing the book and placing it on the shelf. It is more complicated than that, like trying to figure out the hidden meaning behind one of the many Shakespearean original writings with no translation, which is nearly impossible, if you ask me.
Even after reading and rereading it, you still can’t understand what Shakespeare meant when he wrote:
“Young men’s love then lies
Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.”(Romeo and Juliet)
Even searching every word in the dictionary is of no use. Therefore, the only option remaining is to explore another poet and acknowledge that you gave it your best effort.
A similar aspect can be applied when it comes to seeking closure after a relationship has ended.
Closure is one of those things where you can’t rely on the other person to provide it to you.
Otherwise, you would end up dried like a raisin, waiting for it. Of course, it would be nice, but that would be asking for a lot.
Unfortunately, reaching out to the person who hurt you can only amplify the pain you’re currently feeling. Whether you admit it or not, the only reason you’d want to reconnect is for validation and to maintain a sense of identity that no longer exists. Searching for validation gives them additional power over us and our feelings. Perhaps you were in total bliss and too blind to notice that the relationship was slowly fading away. Who knows? There could be countless possibilities.
Irritatingly, you’re left alone to pick up the broken pieces without a clue of where to begin, with the fear of getting cut. With every attempt, the broken glass will slit you deeply at first. Eventually, you will develop a strategic plan on how to clean up the mess without obtaining additional wounds.
It just takes time, like learning to walk—one foot in front of the other.
A great way to express your anger and say what was left unsaid is to write a letter and then burn it. This letter can be a powerful tool for your well-being, helping you come to terms with the breakup and enabling you to close that chapter and move on. Not sure where to begin? Start by expressing your intense feelings of anger, frustration, and disappointment regarding how things ended.
Nothing is off-limits when opting what to write, because that letter is for your personal use only. The more you express your feelings on paper, the easier it will be to realize that the end was inevitable. The signs of the relationship deteriorating were all there; you were just too blind to see them.
After a while, you will achieve the needed closure without having to contact them.
Time will become your best ally when you realize why things had to happen the way they did. Maybe you had to go through that nasty heartbreak to begin finding love deep within yourself and for self-discovery.
That kind of thinking doesn’t happen overnight. Actually, it could take months or even years for you to come to terms with it. But in the end, the closure you’ll obtain after all the extensive work you put into getting over them will bring you serenity. It’s the kind of peace that is truly priceless! Soon enough, you’ll realize that you no longer have to compromise your standards to attain what you truly deserve.