Generally, dating in 2022 is hard whether you have a disability or not. Is it really?
The disability factor makes dating a gazillion times hard. Isaac Man Hei Ip, Anne Honey and Margaret McGrath found that “when asked whether disability would influence their dating choices, most said that it would and expressed an unwillingness to date people with disability.” I can testify to that!
Finding a suitable companion nowadays is like spotting a needle in a haystack. Impossible!
Much of the problem arises from people having commitment issues, assuming they can allocate a better companion than the current one.
Not many have the desire to employ the effort needed to honestly get to know someone before presuming their next conquest. Frequently, serious daters can engage in innumerable meaningless conversations without batting an eye. Very exhausting!
Some take great pride in having a roster, which can be an ego stimulant. The bigger the roster, the higher the ego booster. All is fine if you are in your early twenties or not seeking anything serious.
The lineup starts to become burdensome the older we get. Uncertain, if it’s due to maturity, I can no longer find myself entertaining something that has no future. My time is too precious to waste, plus I love myself too much to ignore my consciousness.
The only reason I returned to the dating apps was boredom due to having the Baclofen pump removal surgery and needing some distraction. And I’m still on them until this day for the content aspect. You’re welcome! Haha
In our twenties, we let slide so many things only to jeopardize our worthiness. The disrespect endured is derived from not accepting ourselves, wholeheartedly, while searching for that approval externally.
The hunger for affection is so immense we tend to neglect our wants and needs to receive a little love.
With so many options available, it is nearly impossible to dodge the vicious cycle of self-comparison and going to great lengths to make sure their interest in us remains intact. Reason why we dilly-dallied largely in our twenties.
One, must work a hundred times harder to showcase worthiness when having a disability. Possessing any sort of limitation naturally reduces the probability of an individual wanting to take a chance on you, even if they consider themselves “open-minded”. Besides all the regular dating nonsense, include having to constantly having to prove your disability is just part of you, yet it doesn’t define who you are. After a while, you stop trying and begin to prioritize yourself. No longer going out of the way to aspire anyone to take a gamble on me. The only person that needs to take a chance on you is yourself.
Plus, these dating apps don’t necessarily make it easier either. The tactic behind these apps is for the user to waste as much time as possible swiping than focusing on establishing deep and meaningful relationships. The dating world wouldn’t be as toxic as it is if more time was exhausted on forming stronger alliances. Why not spend time getting familiarized with the disability and how it affects him/her instead of running for the hills after discovering the person has a disability. At that point, you can decide if you want to pursuit an exclusive relationship or not. It is not rocket science!
It is impossible to decode the dating world despite how hard we try. Instead, let’s concentrate on getting to know ourselves and becoming our best version. Not even a genius has the capacity to figure out why dating is so hard, and we are no scientists to do it.
Reference:
Ip, I. M. H., Honey, A., & McGrath, M. (2022, April 16). Attitudes toward dating people with disability amongst young people in Australia and Hong Kong – sexuality and disability. SpringerLink. Retrieved October 26, 2022, from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11195-022-09734-2#citeas
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