Online dating is comparable to an ice cream shop, offering a plethora of ice cream flavors for you to choose from. There’s no need to settle for the first flavor you try. With such an array of options available, especially if one fails to satisfy your cravings.
So, why not venture to try a few to see which one aligns perfectly with your taste buds? You might discover that you enjoy something more tangy, sweet, creamy, or even salty. It’s only when you’ve tried several varieties that you’ll know for sure which one brings a smile to your face. The same principle applies to dating.
Someone showing romantic interest in you doesn’t necessarily mean you should be with that individual, especially when you don’t feel no excitement towards that person.
Unfortunately, a good portion of people with disabilities tend to settle for the first person who shows even minimal romantic interest This is due to having ingrained the mindset that it would be difficult to find someone who would fully accept their disability, so they better hold onto him/her.
It’s a messed-up way of thinking, honestly. We’ve all felt like that at least once in our lifetime because our insecurities at times overshadow our self-worth, preventing us from obtaining what we truly deserve. The problem is that society places such great emphasis on looking and acting a certain way, leading those who don’t fit into that mold to believe that whatever they get is good enough. This way of thinking is common among minorities, particularly within the disability community.
Everyone should have the opportunity to date around and find the special person who sets their soul on fire, much like savoring a variety of flavors until stumbling upon the one that leaves you craving for more.
Many are fortunate enough to discover their ideal flavor instantly, while others may face a more challenging journey. This doesn’t mean you are difficult; it simply indicates that you know what you’re looking for and won’t compromise your expectations.
You shouldn’t have to lower your expectations just to be in a relationship because all your friends are. Additionally, your expectations shouldn’t be so high that they become unattainable. Having expectations doesn’t imply you’re being picky; on the contrary, it signifies that you know what you want and deserve and won’t settle for anything less.
Being with someone who ignites your soul is equally, if not more, important than being with someone who accepts your disability.
For me, having a deep connection and mutual desire toward each other is a crucial element. Just because they are okay with your disability, does it signify that you should be with that individual? The answer is NO. The relationship would then start to feel like a chore, resulting in an unhealthy, unhappy, and miserable union. It doesn’t matter how much you care for and respect one another; if there isn’t a physical attraction, then there shouldn’t be a romantic relationship.
You will meet some amazing and genuine people on the apps who are very accepting of your differences and develop wonderful friendships, which is perfectly fine. Interacting with people from all walks of life can be a blessing in disguise, allowing you to identify qualities you would want and would not want in a partner.
There are qualities you might want your partner to possess that you were unaware of until recently, aside from someone who is unfazed with your limitations.
For instance, if you enjoy being silly and making jokes, you will need someone who laughs at your silly jokes, doesn’t get offended easily, and isn’t afraid of joining you in your goofiness, yet can also call you out when necessary. Ideally, someone who complements your personality.
Over the years, I have learned not to settle when it comes to searching for that special someone. Unlike my younger self, I can now distinguish what I want and don’t want in a man. Getting to that point took a lot of endless swiping, meaningless conversations, and a ton of disappointments, all of which were necessary and led me to grow as a person. Each person who enters our life has something to teach us, whether the experiences lived were good or not.
One thing I’ve learned is the importance of having expectations. For example, I enjoy laughing and playful banter; if someone can’t handle that, then the relationship wouldn’t work. You shouldn’t stop making jokes or being your authentic, silly self just to be liked. Just as there are many different ice cream flavors, you will eventually encounter someone who appreciates your uniqueness and finds it endearing.
Lowering your expectations might be convenient in the short-run, but surely not for the long-run.
Stay Beautiful XoXo
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