Does not labeling your disability on your profile stem from being dishonest? Well, that’s a tough question to answer. There is an assortment of possible answers to that question pertaining to an individual’s own perspective.
Honesty, communication, and respect are critical components in the success of any relationship. Both parties need to have the courage to be upfront to convey their wants and desire. Things become unparalleled when one side is genuine while the other is beating around the bushes and non-committal.
Your disability is yours and nobody else. The choice is sorely yours to determine to whom, when, and how to disclose your impairments.
Exchanging a few words doesn’t indicate every little detail has to be laid out immediately simply for being disabled. Screw that!
Only you can determine the proper time to discuss in depth your health conditions, nobody else. Daters are not commonly flaunting their vulnerability and insecurities for the world to judge. On the contrary, many only showcase their poise and integrable persona while their words don’t match their actions.
Being ambiguous and obscure is not justifiable but come on. It is unfair to expect to be open about something that humanity has frowned upon greatly. This world doesn’t necessarily welcome with open arms the concept of disability and doing things differently. How to acquire love and acceptance after being regarded as outlandish for not fitting the norm? Very difficult!
At the same time, it is an able person’s right to figure out whether he/she want to date a disabled individual or not. Some might not be open to it, meanwhile others might be willing to try to see how things advance. And that is okay! It is a personal choice!
Not everyone will overlook your limitations and could view them as burdens. Keep in mind, your disability is part of you: not who you are.
Constantly having to try to convince someone that you are more than your condition is a disgrace to your entire well-being. Literally, it is insane to permit strangers to value or devalue our self-worth based on unrealistic standards.
Anyone seriously invested in loving you will love you exactly as you are, disability and all. Let me clarify something; perfection does not exist. If for some reason, you are not what he/she wants, so be it. You wouldn’t be the last or the first disabled person to be rejected, although it could feel like it.
Note, a portion of people with disabilities has difficulties making amends with their limitations caused by childhood traumas.
Traumatic experiences ascribe to physical or mental constraints amongst peers constantly trying to repair the unrepairable unknowingly inflicting permanent self-esteem damage.
Therefore, being transparent can be increasingly challenging and even paralyzing at times. It is utilized as a defense mechanism to help cope with the pressure of not being accepted. The world isn’t too keen on acknowledging what they don’t comprehend.
The endless cycle of limited thoughts will continue until a new way of thinking is learned making amends with self-rejecting believes. Abandoning old thinking patterns wouldn’t precisely be smooth sailing either, but the final outcome will be gratifying accompanied by immense self-growth. It is an enormous gift to discover how precious and valuable you are.
Nobody has a right to criticize your actions on whether to opt to disclose your disability in your dating profile or not. Routinely, individuals are not necessarily jumping on the bandwagon of displaying their insecurities for the world to see. Then, why should a disabled person be obligated to share every minuscular detail of his/her prognosis?
Naturally, it is noteworthy to be your authentic self, yet does not imply putting everything on the table purely due to owning a disability.
Many don’t go on stating, “Oh, I had a beauty enhancement surgery because I felt self-conscious of my small chest.” For example, men do not say “btw, I was going bald, so I adopted to get hair implants.” It is all relative! (Not trying to shame anyone who got any of these things done. I’m employing them as examples to get my point across. I believe, you can do whatever you desire with your body if it makes you happy. For some reason, it’s your body).
Choosing to be straight about having a disability is a personal choice as it’s a person’s preference to date a disabled individual or not. Here, we are all about having the capacity to make choices! Nevertheless, one shouldn’t wait until the relationship is fully developed to mention the disability. Waiting longer than necessary, can hurt more as you will be attempting to hold onto a relationship that was never there to begin with.
Always, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Only you understand what you can handle, and the many traumas endured. However, always stay true to your personality without betraying it. It’s your decision and nobody else’s!
Stay Beautiful XoXo
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You make some very valid points here! And I love that you emphasize personal choice and comfort throughout. There will always be some out there who don’t get it unfortunately but awareness and sharing can be key.
Author
Exactly… One you know what you have been through and how past experience have affected you. There is no right or wrong answer as long as you stay true to yourself.
Plus I always love the pictures you share!
Author
Thanks, 🙂 That means a lot!!!
Love the point about perfection not existing! And I totally agree that someone who is right for you will love the real you!
Author
Thank you, often we live chasing an unrealistic perfectionism that we forget to appreciated the present.
Great post and you make some great points here. I don’t have a disability – nor have I ever done online dating for that matter! So this isn’t something I’ve had to think about. From an outsiders perspective, I would have said it was up to the individual whether you feel comfortable doing so, as it’s your disability. But really, I’m not the person to be commenting on this. Loved reading the post and it gave me some important things to think about!
Author
Thank you for your comment! I’m glad you enjoy reading it and appreciate your perspective on the subject. It is important to see the point of view of non-disables as well as people disability as as it open the door for discussion.
This is such a great post to share and talk about. Online dating is such a minefield. Thank you for sharing.
Lauren
Author
That is for sure!!! Glad you enjoyed reading it.
This is such a great post. I agree it’s completely up to the individual themselves as to whether they are comfortable sharing that information or not. If it bothers anyone that they didn’t disclose it, they weren’t the right people for them anyway! It’s a personal thing so is a personal choice when they tell people.
Author
Thanks!!! 🙂 We all have the right to decide the proper course of action that align with our beliefs. No personal choice is wrong!
What an interesting post. I have never done online dating, but I think this is something many people have to consider. I think this post does a great job of breaking down whether or not you should post about your disability on your online dating profile. Thanks for sharing!
Author
Thanks!!! 🙂 The goal of this post is to guide people with disability through the dating world and not to feel pressure to disclose their disability if they aren’t comfortable with.
Thx!
This is such a wonderful post and you talk about some really valuable points. I agree with one of the other commenter that there’ll be people who don’t get when it comes to your dissability, and that doesn’t mean you are a trouble to others. People who see the real value in you will love you no matter what. Thank you so much for this awesome post.
Author
I’m glad you enjoyed read it! And that is okay. We need to surround ourselves with people who value us for who we are and accept ourselves. The right person will see your flaws as unique gems.
I agree it’s completely up to the individual themselves as to whether they are comfortable sharing that information or not. If it bothers anyone that they didn’t disclose it, they weren’t the right people for them anyway! It’s a personal thing so is a personal choice when they tell people.
Author
It is all about doing what what we are comfortable with. That’s the beauty of life.
I agree with one of the other commenter that there’ll be people who don’t get when it comes to your disability, and that doesn’t mean you are a trouble to others. People who see the real value in you will love you no matter what.
Thank you so much for this awesome post.
What an interesting post. I agree with one of the other commenter that there’ll be people who don’t get when it comes to your dissability, and that doesn’t mean you are a trouble to others. People who see the real value in you will love you no matter what. Thank you so much for this awesome post.
This is such a great post. I agree it’s completely up to the individual themselves as to whether they are comfortable sharing that information or not. If it bothers anyone that they didn’t disclose it, they weren’t the right people for them anyway! It’s a personal thing so is a personal choice when they tell people.
Author
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I completely agree with you that it is ultimately up to the individual to decide whether or not to share information about their condition, and that decision should be respected.
Thx
Author
You’re welcome
This is such a great post. thanks for sharing us.
Author
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it.