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Can Trust Be Rebuilt After It’s Shattered?

Understanding the Power of Trust and Its Frangibility

How do you define trust? What does trust signify to you? Do you think trust can be regained once it is lost?

The five-letter word might seem simple and ordinary, but it is not. It holds a much greater power and meaning than one can perceive. Trust in any relationship is like the foundation of a house. To construct a house, its foundation needs to be strong enough to withstand tough weather conditions. It is so powerful that the success of a relationship is highly dependent on it.

Click here to Read: “Rejection Stinks, Yet It is Needed: Identifying the Power of Rejection”

Putting your faith into someone’s hands should be viewed as a majestic act. You are entrusting to them a piece of yourself for them to take care of and cherish. Once trust is gone, it cannot be put back together the same way as it once was, like broken glass.

The Issue of Failing to Safeguard Trust

The issue is derived from failing to safeguard trust, thinking it will last forever when, in reality, that is farthest from the truth. Of course, there are always exceptions, but they are rare. Once a person has broken your trust, would you be willing to erase the nagging feeling of questioning whether their actions are sincere and trustworthy? This can be applied to any type of relationship.

You see, when life throws lemons, you learn to make lemonade. Nevertheless, caution is an essential part when choosing which lemon to squeeze. Initially, you might squeeze whatever lemon life throws your way, only to realize that not every lemon is worthy of being turned into lemonade.

The Impact of Constant Disappointment

In the same realm, one starts to grasp the concept that not every person should be trusted, especially after facing constant disappointment. Therefore, you hold on with great strength to that vulnerable part of your heart, blocking access to many. Hoping to shield it from any threat that lurks around, especially after being let down repeatedly. The result is that you are not the same individual as you previously were and can’t revert to that version. Still, there is a slightly resilient optimism to reencounter with your past self, if only for a little bit.

The Lingering Scars of Trust

While trust may be merely a word, it has the power to leave emotional and mental scars—scars that are invisible yet equally as painful as any visible mark.

Sorely, you possess the capacity to truly comprehend the intense hurt inflicted by these scars, although they have healed. As discreet as these marks may be, others may still wonder why you changed. Sadly, only a select few have the intelligence needed to grasp the magnitude of what you had to endure to rebuild the shattered faith within yourself, taken away ever so slowly.

If individuals did not take trust so literally, like the air we breathe, more relationships would flourish. Flourish in the sense that there would be greater appreciation for loyalty and vulnerability. Vulnerability, as we would not have to feel so taboo when expressing our emotions. The absence of trust can cause individuals to build a barrier between themselves and others (Cherry). Also, we would not be in this constant fight-or-flight mindset, adding to the urge of having to protect ourselves from the inauthenticity of the outside world.

Trust is something that we should value immensely instead of taking it for granted. That’s a problem many face—taking things for granted, assuming it will always be available. Unfortunately, trust is something that can’t be reconstructed once it has been destroyed. It is shattered by betrayal, where individuals seek to get their way without considering the disappointment certain actions may cause, or by not keeping one’s word.

Honoring Trust

To truly honor a person’s trust, make it a priority to be there for them whenever they need you and consistently remind them of how much you appreciate them. Providing reassurance that you are steadfast and reliable, especially in times of need, is crucial.

Another aspect that goes hand in hand with not trusting is the ability not to ask for help. Asking for assistance implies relying on others to aid with solving your problems, and that might be the last thing you want to do. Speaking out about your issues is not favorable, as it can be viewed as a sign of weakness or incompetence. When helping someone who is hesitant to trust, provide assurance that you won’t pass judgment on their actions or words. It might be a simple act, but one that they would greatly appreciate.

Now after reading the article, I ask you: what is your view on trust?

Reference:

Cherry, K. (2023, November 7). Why you may have trust issues and how to overcome them. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/why-you-may-have-trust-issues-and-how-to-overcome-them-5215390

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12 Comments

  1. November 18, 2023 / 5:20 pm

    I don’t know if I’d be able to trust someone if they’d broken my trust, as I’ve always had issue with trust due to my abuse filled childhood

    • shesdioma
      Author
      November 20, 2023 / 9:41 pm

      Childhood traumas make it difficult to trust freely as we can be in constant alert of anything that might challenge who we are. Thank you for your comment! 🙂

  2. November 21, 2023 / 6:41 am

    I think someone can earn your trust a second time if they really want to but I don’t think it’s ever the same level of trust as before. You will always end up questioning the little things.

    • shesdioma
      Author
      November 27, 2023 / 6:35 pm

      Exactly! Trust can at times be regain but it wouldn’t be the same as it once was. There would always a nagging voice inside you that would question everything that they do. Thank you for your comment! 🙂

  3. November 23, 2023 / 6:43 pm

    Your great points on trust being taken for granted can definitely be an issue with people losing the trust of others, especially when they are more self-centered. I do agree that it requires a form of vulnerability while also being an integral part of the foundation of a relationship. This is an important topic. Thank you.

    • shesdioma
      Author
      November 27, 2023 / 6:44 pm

      Unfortunately, trust isn’t value as much as it should be. A relationship without trust is worthless as there wouldn’t be a foundation strong enough to support the uncertainties that can arise. Thank you for your comment! 🙂

  4. November 29, 2023 / 6:49 am

    Fool me one, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Once someone has betrayed my trust I’ll never have faith in them again.. Obviously I’m talking about major betrayals here, not minor social admin issues!

    • shesdioma
      Author
      December 14, 2023 / 2:16 pm

      Exactly!!! It is extremely to have faith in someone after they betrayed it. I think it would take years upon years to regain it, if it is possible. Thank you for your comment! 🙂

  5. Lanae Bond
    December 15, 2023 / 5:28 pm

    Once trust is gone it is hard to repair which is why we should appreciate people who are trustworthy.

    • shesdioma
      Author
      December 16, 2023 / 1:59 pm

      Agreed! I too believe that people should appreciate more trustworthy people because they are rare to come across. Thank you for your comment! 🙂

  6. March 16, 2024 / 3:52 pm

    Trust is so important in any relationship. I feel it cannot ever be back to 100 percent once its broken. That’s why I feel it’s important to come into relationships with that in mind and conduct yourself on a way that’s noble.

    • shesdioma
      Author
      March 19, 2024 / 8:08 pm

      That’s right! Relationships can’t be a 100% after they have been shattered and if does it would take years upon years to ever get to trusting fulling. Once something brakes it can’t be put together the same. Thank you for your comment! 🙂

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