Why Do People with Disabilities Hold Back From Asking For What They Need?

Being disabled doesn’t mean you should agree with the first option presented to you! Options are endless, so why not choose from a variety of them?

As a disabled individual, I have become cautiously aware of how disabled individuals are often expected to quietly accept whatever is offered to them.  Sadly, it is the harsh reality of many who have grown up with the limited belief that whatever they are given should be “good enough” simply due to the fact of having a disability.

I call that BS and it’s time to change that!  We should start asking for what we want and speaking up when something is not serving us or goes against our values

Click Here To Read: Why I Do Not Regret Not Disclosing My Disability?

Watching the movie “Out of My Mind”, opened my eyes to witness how cruel and close-minded people can be towards people with disabilities. The unfortunate truth is that a large number of people wrongfully assume that just because someone has certain type of limitations, a disabled individual is unable to excel in life. What is more apparent is we are expected to be competent with the little resources given to us. As a result, people are astonished when we speak up and demand more. Why we can’t demand for more? Because we are have a physical limitation?

Reason People with Disabilities Don’t Speak Up?

Every so often, people with disabilities subconsciously inherit the habit of shying away from having demands out of fear of being view as a burden or an inconvenience to others. Why should we be worry about inconveniencing others only to end up imposing unwanted headache onto ourselves?  

Unfortunately, this is the mindset students with disabilities carry all throughout school and beyond, including myself.  It is so deeply ingrained in us. Even changing schools does not erase the wrongfully taught perception. In fact, the fight amplifies tenfold, as resources and advocacy are not freely handed to you unless you speak up. 

Regrettably, that is the reality many have to endure! At times, one has to forgo any politeness to successfully obtain the resources and accommodations needed to exist. It’s not asking too much; it’s asking for exactly what is necessary.

The Right to Choose for People with Disabilities

Having a limitation doesn’t take away our liberty to personally choose between what is right versus what is not. Nor does it mean we are not permitted to question whether something legitimately aligned with our morals.

Like everyone else, people with disabilities have the ability to choose how they would want to navigate their lives. Disabled individuals are also entitled to reject anything that might not be suitable or in their best interest.  A key factor is possessing the intelligent needed to decipher if someone has our best interest at heart or is only bluffing. One thing I wondered, why it is expected of disabled individuals to simply go with the flow and not question anything, even when their instinct tell them to be alert.  I guess it is rooted in the ideology of obedience, mixed with the hope of not being seen as a burden.

Standing Up For Your Beliefs Doesn’t Make You A Burden

I have news for you; we are all a burden in one way or another. Going to the store can be a burden, yet people continue to go to get their groceries. Or driving and getting stuck in traffic can also be categorized as a burden, despite people still drive to work. You see everything is a burden, it all depends on how you opt to view life. 

The reality is that being compliant and abandoning what you truly want will get you nowhere. There is a quote that stood out to me greatly. The quote perfectly explains how it’s expected for people with disabilities to be well behave and agreeable. It’s the wise words of Mrs. V to Melody in the movie Out of My Mind: “At some point, you better learn just because someone wipes your ass doesn’t mean you have to kiss theirs.”  And wow, there is so much truth in that!

The impactful words from above perfectly capture dilemma of having a disability. It demonstrates how a disabled individual should not always feel the need to exercise docility to the point of being easily manipulated for the sole purpose of requiring assistance. Instead, we should strive for what we desire the must and confidently say no to the things that don’t align with our beliefs and capabilities.

That said, I encourage you, my fellow people with disabilities to question everything. Please don’t settle for the first thing that is presented to you if it is not what you truly want. People won’t like you more, nor you will be less of a burden by being agreeable. You know what is good for you! Be aware if something is in front of you doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Stay Beautiful XoXo