When Should You Disclose Your Disability?

Advice

Disclosing your disability to a potential interest can be nerve-racking, as they could interpret the news in numerous of ways. Waiting for their reaction can be rather crippling, knowing it could alter the direction of things. It is like putting a hand inside one of those black magic hats unsure what you would extract, yet strongly wishing to pull out a cute, little, and lovable rabbit, which is not always the case. The cute rabbit is the acceptance.  

Not everyone who you reveal your disability to, will receive it with open arms and that’s fine. Like there isn’t a proper time which indicates when you should and should not expose that vulnerable part of yourself. The decision is only yours to make, but don’t wait longer than necessary. Prolonging can only bring a false sense of comfort making it harder to confess, resulting in rejection and heartache. You can be the funniest, serious, goofiest, charismatic person they have met, but if they are unable to see past the shadow of your limitations, then the day, week, or month, you decide to shine a light on the subject would not make a difference as their outlook would remain the same. The time spent getting to know each other would do little use to change their mindset, as it takes years to change one’s perspective.    

The sooner you reveal your disability the better. You would not want to continue to build a pyramid without a solid foundation, knowing it could collapse at any time. It can be scary and even frightening, but it’s necessary to expose your truth sooner than later, for your emotional well-being. Gradually, they could start distancing themselves after you  have divulged your condition, only to leave you in the limbo. The inclination to delay the telling process is a tempting one thinking the longer you wait, the more acceptance they would be. Unfortunately, it does not matter when you decide to tell them, if they are unwilling to see beyond your limitation, then waiting is useless. In the end, you will only be hurting yourself because if they are close-minded and unable to see past the limitations, a few conversation exchanges would not be enough to erase their shallowness.

Divulging your disability a few days or even a week after matching would help you to weed out close-minded individuals and to focus on the less shallow ones. It’s annoying to put on the time and energy into getting to know someone and to be left with nothing. The most amusing thing is them implying the interaction will remain the same, but in reality, it will just going to go down hill upon discovering the disability factor. The issue is the word disability has a fault perception attached to it. An imaginary wall then automatic goes up, for example, preventing any sort of progression and dramatically altering the communication. It is like having these massive blinders concentrating solely on how much effort it would take to date an individual with a disability as opposed to being in a relationship with someone without an impairment. It’s a silly excuse, honestly, because every relationship requires work, for it to work. Dating someone with a disability is just different, and people are afraid of the unknown.

There would be situations where there is no point in confessing your disability because you don’t see anything forming and is just talking to talk. Not everyone you come in contact with has to know you have an impairment. You and only you can decide when and how to disclose your disability and nobody else. That said, don’t wait too long where you would have become so attached to this person, if he/she doesn’t accept your difference you would not be left heartbroken. Still, it does not guarantee the relationship will florist because relationships can dissipate at any moment. Just stay true to yourself and tell when you think is right. Eventually, you will find that special person who will look at your limitations as perfections.

Stay Beautiful XoXo

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