If I had to guess, I would say a good portion of you guys have tried online dating at least once. Swiping left and right can be pretty tiresome. It can be compared to walking along an endless hallway where you will encounter numberless of doors aligned on each side. Many lead to nowhere yet you decide to try to open a few of them just for the sake of it, soon realizing it is a dead end. Then, you find yourself back in the hallway trying to find a different door that seems appealing with the hope of it being the one. It is a never-ending cycle that it just keeps repeating itself. Am I right?
Now imagine being unable to pass through only for the sheer fact you have a disability. Online dating is ten times harder when you are differently-able. The online dating world can be pretty exclusive in the sense that some wouldn’t swipe left just because your profile says you have a disability. Look at it this way; if they can’t see past your disability then you don’t need them in your life.
Five simple and useful tips I have learned throughout the years regarding online dating with a disability:
1: Don’t put you have a disability on your dating profile- Personally, I prefer not to state that I have a disability on my dating profile. Thousands of people use dating apps daily and there are weirdos out there with crazy disabled fetishes. Plus, not everyone on the app needs to know you have some kind of limitation. It is your disability and you have the right to disclose it to whoever, however, and whenever you want.
2: Divulge to the match about your disability a few days after connecting and/or if you feel like things could go somewhere- It is better to inform the individual about your disability 2-3 days after starting talking or before meeting up. If they ghost you once you told them, then they weren’t meant to be in your life. Rejection is awful any way you put it, but sometimes it’s necessary for growth to occur. The issue is humanity has made disability a taboo topic causing uncertainty to the idea of dating someone with a disability prior to giving it a chance. Of course, it sucks at first but knows that in the end, you will be stronger.
3: Don’t go too deep into discussing your entire medical history also encourage them to ask followup questions.-Revealing your disability can be a scary thing as you don’t know how the person will react. I would appreciate it if they ask questions when finding out that I have a disability, instead of turning to the internet for answers. The problem is the internet makes it sound worse than it really is. More often than not, I use the following statement to I inform them:
“I would like to tell you something. I have a disability, which affects my speech and some motor skills. I can answer any questions you might have. Let me know if you want us to continue being an acquaintance, if not I wish you the best.”
That is a simple way of unveiling your disability without going too much into detail to avoid awkwardness during the first few minutes.
4: There is a high probability of being ghosted following the declaration of your disability- I find it extremely annoying when the individual says that you, having a disability doesn’t matter, yet they end up disappearing soon afterward. They go from texting all day long to not texting at all. Why not be upfront about no longer being interested?! The issue is many take the easy way out instead of being direct and honest supposedly to avoid hurting you. It just shows their level of immaturity and unwillingness to understand what is foreign.
5: You are amazing! Know they are the one with the problem because having a disability doesn’t make you less of a person- If the person is unwilling to overlook your limitations and value your great qualities, then they aren’t worth your time and energy. Having a disability shouldn’t matter when their interest is genuine willing to do whatever in their power to make it work. Actually, they are doing you a favor as you would be closer in finding someone special who is going to accept/loves you for who you are. Meanwhile, say like Ariana Grande; “Thank U, Next”.
Hope you found these tips useful and implement some of them to your dating life. I would love to know your thoughts and if you agree with me or not by commenting below.
Stay Beautiful xoxo